WEBVTT 04:16.900 --> 04:18.109 Whoa, there! 04:36.128 --> 04:37.253 Halt! 04:38.881 --> 04:40.131 Who goes there? 04:40.382 --> 04:44.552 It is I, Arthur, Son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. 04:44.970 --> 04:47.805 King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons. 04:48.473 --> 04:50.641 Sovereign of all England! 04:52.102 --> 04:53.553 Pull the other one. 04:53.653 --> 04:56.939 I am, and this is my trusty servant, Patsy. 04:57.316 --> 05:00.810 We have ridden the length of the land in search of knights 05:00.910 --> 05:05.823 who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master. 05:06.575 --> 05:08.784 - What? Ridden on a horse? - Yes. 05:08.994 --> 05:11.154 - You're using coconuts! - What? 05:11.254 --> 05:15.158 You've got two empty halves of coconut, and you're banging them together. 05:15.258 --> 05:19.170 So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land. 05:19.671 --> 05:23.249 - Through the Kingdom of Mercia. - Where did you get the coconuts? 05:23.349 --> 05:24.542 We found them. 05:24.642 --> 05:27.845 Found them? In Mercia? The coconut is tropical. 05:28.305 --> 05:31.007 - What do you mean? - Well, this is a temperate zone. 05:31.107 --> 05:34.761 The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house martin or the plover 05:34.861 --> 05:39.190 may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land. 05:40.192 --> 05:45.104 - Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? - Not at all. They could be carried. 05:45.204 --> 05:49.909 - What? A swallow carrying a coconut? - It could grip it by the husk. 05:50.369 --> 05:55.206 It's not a question of where he grips it. It's a simple question of weight ratio. 05:55.707 --> 05:59.869 A five-ounce bird could not carry a one-pound coconut. 05:59.969 --> 06:04.882 It doesn't matter. Go tell your master that Arthur from Camelot is here. 06:06.385 --> 06:09.512 In order to maintain air-speed velocity, 06:09.721 --> 06:14.392 a swallow needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right? 06:14.518 --> 06:16.394 - Please! - Am I right? 06:17.229 --> 06:21.482 - I'm not interested. - It could be carried by an African swallow. 06:22.150 --> 06:26.813 Oh, yes! An African swallow, maybe. Not a European swallow. That's my point. 06:26.913 --> 06:28.147 I agree with that. 06:28.247 --> 06:32.576 Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot? 06:33.537 --> 06:36.614 But then, of course, African swallows are non-migratory. 06:36.714 --> 06:39.917 - Oh, yes. - They couldn't bring a coconut, anyway. 06:40.585 --> 06:44.171 Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together? 06:44.589 --> 06:49.468 - No, they'd have to have it on a line. - Simple. They'd use a strand of creeper. 06:49.845 --> 06:53.305 - Held under the dorsal guiding feathers? - Why not? 06:55.225 --> 06:56.767 Bring out your dead! 07:28.633 --> 07:29.759 Ninepence. 07:49.571 --> 07:51.739 - Bring out your dead. - Here's one. 07:51.990 --> 07:53.066 Ninepence. 07:53.166 --> 07:54.734 - I'm not dead! - What? 07:54.834 --> 07:57.487 - Nothing. Here's your ninepence. - I'm not dead! 07:57.587 --> 07:59.822 - He says he's not dead. - Yes, he is. 07:59.922 --> 08:01.407 - I'm not! - He isn't? 08:01.507 --> 08:04.077 - He will be soon. He's very ill. - I'm getting better! 08:04.177 --> 08:05.912 You'll be stone dead in a moment. 08:06.012 --> 08:08.664 I can't take him like that. It's against regulations. 08:08.764 --> 08:12.085 - I don't want to go on the cart. - Don't be such a baby. 08:12.185 --> 08:14.337 - I can't take him. - I feel fine. 08:14.437 --> 08:16.464 - Well, do us a favor. - I can't. 08:16.564 --> 08:19.175 Can you hang around a few minutes? He won't be long. 08:19.275 --> 08:21.969 Got to go to the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today. 08:22.069 --> 08:23.846 - When's your next round? - Thursday. 08:23.946 --> 08:27.683 - I think I'll go for a walk. - You're not fooling anyone, you know. 08:27.783 --> 08:32.738 - Isn't there something you can do? - I feel happy. 08:34.116 --> 08:37.068 - Thanks very much. - Not at all. See you on Thursday. 08:37.168 --> 08:38.244 Right. 08:42.207 --> 08:45.126 - Who's that, then? - I don't know. Must be a king. 08:45.418 --> 08:48.003 - Why? - He hasn't got shit all over him. 09:11.903 --> 09:13.529 - Old woman! - Man! 09:13.989 --> 09:17.408 Man. Sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there? 09:17.534 --> 09:19.785 - I'm 37. - What? 09:20.078 --> 09:23.906 - I'm 37. I'm not old. - I can't just call you "man." 09:24.006 --> 09:26.993 - You could say "Dennis." - I didn't know you were called Dennis. 09:27.093 --> 09:28.744 You didn't bother to find out. 09:28.844 --> 09:31.581 I did say sorry about the "old woman," but from behind... 09:31.681 --> 09:34.925 What I object to is that you treat me like an inferior. 09:35.051 --> 09:37.928 - Well, I am king. - King? Very nice. 09:38.513 --> 09:41.348 How did you get that? By exploiting the workers! 09:41.766 --> 09:45.178 By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates 09:45.278 --> 09:48.264 the economic and social differences in our society! 09:48.364 --> 09:52.860 - If there's ever going to be any progress... - There's some lovely filth down here. 09:53.904 --> 09:55.104 How do you do? 09:55.204 --> 09:58.191 How do you do, good lady? I am Arthur, King of the Britons. 09:58.291 --> 10:00.693 - Whose castle is that? - King of the who? 10:00.793 --> 10:02.953 - The Britons. - Who are the Britons? 10:03.205 --> 10:06.207 We all are. We're all Britons. And I am your king. 10:06.958 --> 10:10.119 Didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective. 10:10.219 --> 10:13.039 You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship. 10:13.139 --> 10:16.209 A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working class... 10:16.309 --> 10:18.794 There you go. Bringing class into it again. 10:18.894 --> 10:23.390 - That's what it's all about. If only people... - Please, good people. I am in haste. 10:23.934 --> 10:25.684 Who lives in that castle? 10:26.311 --> 10:28.346 - No one lives there. - Who is your lord? 10:28.446 --> 10:30.389 - We don't have a lord. - What? 10:30.489 --> 10:33.651 I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. 10:33.818 --> 10:37.230 We take turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week. 10:37.330 --> 10:39.899 - Yes. - But all the decisions of that officer 10:39.999 --> 10:42.993 - are ratified at a biweekly meeting. - Yes, I see. 10:43.119 --> 10:46.405 - By a majority in the case of internal affairs. - Be quiet! 10:46.505 --> 10:50.918 - By a two-thirds majority in the case of... - Be quiet! I order you to be quiet. 10:51.336 --> 10:53.412 "Order." Who does he think he is? 10:53.512 --> 10:56.131 - I am your king! - I didn't vote for you. 10:56.466 --> 10:59.677 - You don't vote for kings. - How did you become king then? 11:00.345 --> 11:05.057 The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, 11:05.308 --> 11:08.435 held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, 11:09.020 --> 11:13.941 signifying, by divine providence, that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. 11:14.442 --> 11:15.935 That is why I'm your king! 11:16.035 --> 11:20.531 Listen. Strange women lying in ponds, distributing swords, is no basis 11:20.657 --> 11:23.943 for a system of government. Supreme executive power 11:24.043 --> 11:28.614 derives from a mandate from the masses. Not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. 11:28.714 --> 11:29.782 Be quiet! 11:29.882 --> 11:32.952 You can't expect to wield supreme executive power 11:33.052 --> 11:35.621 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you. 11:35.721 --> 11:38.958 - Shut up! - If I went around saying I was an emperor 11:39.058 --> 11:43.337 because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away! 11:43.437 --> 11:47.558 - Will you shut up? - See the violence inherent in the system. 11:47.726 --> 11:51.312 - Shut up! - See the violence inherent in the system! 11:51.479 --> 11:54.473 - Help, I'm being repressed! - Bloody peasant! 11:54.573 --> 11:56.976 What a giveaway. Did you hear that? 11:57.076 --> 12:00.154 That's what I'm on about. Did you see him repressing me? 13:36.960 --> 13:40.003 You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight. 13:43.174 --> 13:45.342 I am Arthur, King of the Britons. 13:49.681 --> 13:54.184 I seek the finest and bravest knights in the land to join me in Camelot. 13:59.649 --> 14:02.985 You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me? 14:08.616 --> 14:11.702 You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy. 14:12.036 --> 14:13.704 None shall pass. 14:14.080 --> 14:16.165 - What? - None shall pass. 14:16.833 --> 14:20.578 I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge. 14:20.678 --> 14:22.880 Then you shall die. 14:23.756 --> 14:27.718 I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside. 14:28.011 --> 14:31.597 I move for no man. 14:33.391 --> 14:34.600 So be it! 15:01.336 --> 15:03.412 Now, stand aside, worthy adversary. 15:03.512 --> 15:06.715 - 'Tis but a scratch. - "A scratch"? Your arm's off. 15:06.841 --> 15:09.218 - No, it isn't. - Well, what's that, then? 15:10.303 --> 15:11.754 - I've had worse. - You liar. 15:11.854 --> 15:13.472 Come on, you pansy! 15:21.523 --> 15:22.898 Victory is mine. 15:24.734 --> 15:26.902 We thank thee, Lord, that in thy... 15:28.196 --> 15:29.780 - Come on, then. - What? 15:30.114 --> 15:31.323 Have at you. 15:33.034 --> 15:35.486 You are brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine. 15:35.586 --> 15:37.162 Had enough, eh? 15:38.122 --> 15:40.741 Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left. 15:40.841 --> 15:42.292 - Yes, I have. - Look! 15:42.710 --> 15:44.211 Just a flesh wound. 15:45.296 --> 15:47.706 - Look, stop that. - Chicken! 15:47.806 --> 15:50.300 I'll have your leg. Right! 15:53.137 --> 15:55.506 - Right! I'll do you for that. - You'll what? 15:55.606 --> 15:58.509 - Come here. - What are you going to do? Bleed on me? 15:58.609 --> 16:01.353 - I am invincible! - You're a loony. 16:02.105 --> 16:05.774 The Black Knight always triumphs. Have at you! 16:06.818 --> 16:08.068 Come on, then. 16:13.324 --> 16:15.409 All right, we'll call it a draw. 16:16.327 --> 16:18.745 - Come, Patsy. - Oh, I see. 16:19.330 --> 16:22.833 Running away? You yellow bastard! 16:22.959 --> 16:27.296 Come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off! 16:30.842 --> 16:34.803 Pie Jesu Domine 16:35.430 --> 16:39.808 Dona eis requiem 16:42.312 --> 16:46.106 Pie Jesu Domine 16:47.734 --> 16:52.696 Dona eis requiem 17:04.959 --> 17:06.877 - A witch! - We found a witch. 17:09.047 --> 17:11.214 - We got a witch. - We found a witch. 17:14.052 --> 17:15.510 We've got a witch. 17:16.929 --> 17:18.930 Burn her! 17:27.523 --> 17:31.193 - We have found a witch. May we burn her? - Burn her! 17:32.862 --> 17:35.947 - How do you know she is a witch? - She looks like one. 17:37.992 --> 17:39.451 Bring her forward. 17:40.244 --> 17:44.665 - I am not a witch. - But you are dressed as one. 17:45.041 --> 17:47.826 - They dressed me up like this. - We didn't! 17:47.926 --> 17:50.504 And this isn't my nose. It's a false one. 17:54.175 --> 17:56.301 - Well? - Well, we did do the nose. 17:57.136 --> 18:00.013 - The nose? - And the hat. But she is a witch. 18:00.390 --> 18:03.308 Burn her! 18:04.268 --> 18:08.355 - Did you dress her up like this? - No. Yes. 18:08.648 --> 18:12.025 Yes, a bit. She has got a wart. 18:13.569 --> 18:17.572 - What makes you think she is a witch? - Well, she turned me into a newt. 18:19.033 --> 18:20.158 A newt? 18:24.455 --> 18:25.706 I got better. 18:25.957 --> 18:28.625 - Burn her anyway. - Burn her! 18:32.338 --> 18:37.217 Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch. 18:37.969 --> 18:41.346 - Are there? What are they? Tell us. - Do they hurt? 18:41.806 --> 18:44.725 Tell me, what do you do with witches? 18:44.892 --> 18:47.269 Burn them! 18:48.354 --> 18:52.107 - What do you burn apart from witches? - More witches! 18:53.443 --> 18:56.945 - Wood. - So, why do witches burn? 19:08.416 --> 19:10.959 - 'Cause they're made of wood? - Good. 19:13.045 --> 19:16.506 So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood? 19:17.633 --> 19:22.345 - Build a bridge out of her. - Can you not also make bridges of stone? 19:23.598 --> 19:24.639 Oh, yeah. 19:25.767 --> 19:28.143 Does wood sink in water? 19:28.478 --> 19:30.929 - No. - It floats. 19:31.029 --> 19:32.731 Throw her into the pond! 19:35.777 --> 19:38.862 - What also floats in water? - Bread. 19:39.906 --> 19:41.782 - Apples. - Very small rocks. 19:42.241 --> 19:44.910 - Cider. Cherries. - Gravy. Mud. 19:45.453 --> 19:47.162 - Churches. - Lead. 19:47.371 --> 19:48.413 A duck! 19:50.792 --> 19:51.833 Exactly. 19:53.669 --> 19:55.295 So, logically... 19:55.797 --> 19:57.422 If she 19:58.299 --> 20:00.592 weighs the same as a duck... 20:03.054 --> 20:04.630 She's made of wood. 20:04.730 --> 20:06.181 And, therefore... 20:08.392 --> 20:09.851 - A witch! - A witch! 20:14.565 --> 20:16.775 We shall use my largest scales. 20:37.046 --> 20:40.632 Right. Remove the supports! 20:45.805 --> 20:47.013 - A witch! - A witch! 20:47.932 --> 20:49.724 - It's a fair cop. - Burn her! 20:57.817 --> 21:00.986 Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science? 21:01.153 --> 21:04.447 - I am Arthur, King of the Britons. - My liege. 21:05.825 --> 21:10.787 Good Sir Knight, will you come to Camelot, and join us at the Round Table? 21:11.372 --> 21:13.456 My liege, I would be honored. 21:14.083 --> 21:16.668 - What is your name? - Bedevere, my liege. 21:17.128 --> 21:19.838 Then I dub you Sir Bedevere, 21:20.715 --> 21:22.632 knight of the Round Table. 21:23.968 --> 21:27.880 The wise Sir Bedevere was the first to join King Arthur's knights. 21:27.980 --> 21:30.849 But other illustrious names were soon to follow. 21:31.392 --> 21:33.184 Sir Lancelot the Brave. 21:34.186 --> 21:35.896 Sir Galahad the Pure. 21:36.689 --> 21:39.683 And Sir Robin, the Not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Lancelot, 21:39.783 --> 21:42.019 who had nearly fought the Dragon of Angnor, 21:42.119 --> 21:45.188 who had nearly stood up to the vicious Chicken of Bristol, 21:45.288 --> 21:49.034 and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill. 21:49.285 --> 21:52.746 And the aptly named Sir Not-appearing-in-this-film. 21:54.165 --> 21:55.866 Together they formed a band 21:55.966 --> 21:59.794 whose names and deeds were to be retold throughout the centuries. 21:59.921 --> 22:02.339 The Knights of the Round Table. 22:03.007 --> 22:06.418 That, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana-shaped. 22:06.518 --> 22:08.962 This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. 22:09.062 --> 22:12.883 Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes. 22:12.983 --> 22:15.018 - Certainly, sir. - Look, my liege. 22:19.023 --> 22:20.857 - Camelot. - Camelot. 22:21.150 --> 22:23.068 - Camelot. - It's only a model. 22:24.820 --> 22:27.447 Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home. 22:27.657 --> 22:30.200 Let us ride to Camelot! 22:32.036 --> 22:35.322 We're knights of the Round Table We dance whene'er we're able 22:35.422 --> 22:38.492 We do routines and chorus scenes With footwork impeccable 22:38.592 --> 22:41.878 We dine well here in Camelot We eat ham and jam and Spam a lot 22:48.719 --> 22:52.889 We're knights of the Round Table Our shows are formidable 22:53.599 --> 22:55.384 But many times We're given rhymes 22:55.484 --> 22:58.345 That are quite unsingable We're opera mad in Camelot 22:58.445 --> 23:00.605 We sing from the diaphragm a lot 23:15.788 --> 23:18.123 In war we're tough and able 23:18.958 --> 23:21.167 Quite indefatigable 23:21.961 --> 23:23.829 Between our quests We sequin vests 23:23.929 --> 23:27.132 And impersonate Clark Gable It's a busy life in Camelot 23:27.508 --> 23:31.553 I have to push the pram a lot 23:36.434 --> 23:39.928 No, on second thoughts, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place. 23:40.028 --> 23:41.271 Right. 23:50.406 --> 23:53.783 Arthur. 23:54.243 --> 23:55.702 King of the Britons. 23:57.538 --> 24:01.283 Don't grovel. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's people groveling. 24:01.383 --> 24:03.084 - Sorry. - And don't apologize. 24:03.544 --> 24:07.122 Every time I talk to someone it's "sorry this," and, "forgive me that," 24:07.222 --> 24:08.840 and, "I'm not worthy." 24:09.008 --> 24:11.710 - What are you doing now? - I'm averting my eyes, O Lord. 24:11.810 --> 24:16.347 Don't. It's like those miserable psalms. They're so depressing. 24:16.557 --> 24:18.300 - Now, knock it off! - Yes, Lord. 24:18.400 --> 24:21.895 Right. Arthur, King of the Britons. 24:22.480 --> 24:25.098 Your knights of the Round Table shall have a task 24:25.198 --> 24:27.893 to make them an example in these dark times. 24:27.993 --> 24:30.695 - Good idea, O Lord! - Course it's a good idea. 24:31.405 --> 24:35.116 Behold, Arthur, this is the Holy Grail. 24:35.367 --> 24:39.996 Look well, Arthur, for it is your sacred task to seek this grail. 24:40.414 --> 24:42.665 That is your purpose, Arthur. 24:43.584 --> 24:46.336 The quest for the Holy Grail. 24:50.508 --> 24:54.344 - A blessing from the Lord. - God be praised! 25:52.903 --> 25:53.987 Halt! 26:04.957 --> 26:14.757 Hello! 26:16.468 --> 26:18.011 Hello. Who is it? 26:18.345 --> 26:21.931 It is King Arthur, and these are my knights of the Round Table. 26:22.099 --> 26:23.641 Whose castle is this? 26:23.851 --> 26:27.145 This is the castle of my master, Guy de Loimbard. 26:27.438 --> 26:31.316 Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God 26:31.775 --> 26:36.237 with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night, 26:36.614 --> 26:39.490 he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail. 26:39.825 --> 26:42.994 Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. 26:43.120 --> 26:45.163 He's already got one, you see. 26:46.332 --> 26:48.791 - What? - He says they've already got one! 26:50.252 --> 26:53.963 - Are you sure he's got one? - Oh, yes. It's very nice. 26:54.840 --> 26:57.008 I told him we've already got one. 27:00.179 --> 27:04.474 - Can we come up and have a look? - Of course not! You are English-types. 27:06.143 --> 27:08.386 - Well, what are you then? - I'm French. 27:08.486 --> 27:12.482 Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king? 27:12.983 --> 27:16.152 - What are you doing in England? - Mind your own business. 27:17.821 --> 27:21.566 If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force. 27:21.666 --> 27:24.827 You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! 27:25.454 --> 27:29.374 Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. 27:29.667 --> 27:33.544 I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King. 27:33.796 --> 27:37.840 You and all your silly English knights. 27:44.723 --> 27:48.093 - What a strange person. - Now look here, my good man... 27:48.193 --> 27:50.561 I don't want to talk to you no more, 27:50.854 --> 27:54.148 you empty-headed, animal food-trough wiper. 27:54.525 --> 27:57.277 I fart in your general direction. 27:57.778 --> 28:02.699 Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries. 28:04.910 --> 28:07.612 Is there someone else up there we could talk to? 28:07.712 --> 28:11.582 No. Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time. 28:13.961 --> 28:17.630 Now, this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable... 28:17.756 --> 28:19.165 - Fetchez la vache! - Quoi? 28:19.265 --> 28:20.717 Fetchez la vache! 28:23.095 --> 28:26.222 If you do not agree to my commands, then I shall... 28:28.058 --> 28:29.392 Jesus Christ! 28:30.811 --> 28:31.894 Crikey! 28:34.440 --> 28:36.733 Right! Charge! 28:51.415 --> 28:53.958 Run away! Run away! 29:04.511 --> 29:06.804 - Fiends! I'll tear them apart. - No, no. 29:06.930 --> 29:09.849 Sir, I have a plan, sir. 30:45.362 --> 30:46.438 - Un cadeau. - What? 30:46.538 --> 30:47.530 - A present. - Un cadeau. 30:47.630 --> 30:50.116 Oui, allons-y. Let's go. 31:14.141 --> 31:15.300 What happens now? 31:15.400 --> 31:20.313 Well, now, Lancelot, Galahad, and I wait until nightfall, 31:20.731 --> 31:24.901 and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French by surprise. 31:25.402 --> 31:28.070 Not only by surprise, but totally unarmed! 31:29.072 --> 31:30.281 Who leaps out? 31:31.200 --> 31:33.534 Lancelot, Galahad, and I 31:34.786 --> 31:36.579 leap out of the rabbit. 31:42.461 --> 31:45.588 Look. If we built this large, wooden badger... 31:49.593 --> 31:51.969 Run away! 32:01.772 --> 32:04.315 - History for Schools. Take 8. - Action! 32:04.775 --> 32:08.611 Defeat at the castle seems to have utterly disheartened King Arthur. 32:08.946 --> 32:13.733 The ferocity of the French taunting took him completely by surprise. 32:13.833 --> 32:18.120 Arthur became convinced that a new strategy was required 32:18.288 --> 32:22.667 if the quest for the Holy Grail were to be brought to a successful conclusion. 32:22.793 --> 32:25.628 Arthur, having consulted his closest knights 32:26.004 --> 32:30.299 decided that they should separate, and search for the Grail individually. 32:30.676 --> 32:32.510 Now, this is what they did... 32:35.806 --> 32:36.889 Frank! 32:48.527 --> 32:51.404 So, each of the knights went their separate ways. 32:51.697 --> 32:54.991 Sir Robin rode north, through the dark forest of Ewing, 32:55.200 --> 32:57.743 accompanied by his favorite minstrels. 32:58.996 --> 33:02.707 Bravely bold Sir Robin Rode forth from Camelot 33:03.500 --> 33:07.545 He was not afraid to die O, Brave Sir Robin 33:07.921 --> 33:11.841 He was not at all afraid To be killed in nasty ways 33:12.342 --> 33:15.011 Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin 33:16.722 --> 33:20.516 He was not in the least bit scared To be mashed into a pulp 33:21.226 --> 33:25.479 Or to have his eyes gouged out And his elbows broken 33:25.689 --> 33:29.609 To have his kneecaps split And his body burned away 33:29.901 --> 33:33.112 And his limbs all hacked and mangled Brave Sir Robin 33:34.573 --> 33:36.649 His head smashed in And his heart cut out 33:36.749 --> 33:38.651 His liver removed And his bowels unplugged 33:38.751 --> 33:41.696 His nostrils raped, his bottom burned off And his penis... 33:41.796 --> 33:44.707 That's enough music for now, lads. 33:45.542 --> 33:47.543 Looks like there's dirty work afoot. 33:50.130 --> 33:52.999 Anarcho-syndicalism is a way of preserving freedom. 33:53.099 --> 33:56.552 Dennis, forget about freedom. Don't drop that mud. 34:00.098 --> 34:02.391 Halt! Who art thou? 34:02.684 --> 34:05.428 He is brave Sir Robin, brave Sir Robin... 34:05.528 --> 34:06.812 Shut up! 34:07.606 --> 34:10.941 Nobody, really. I was just passing through. 34:11.234 --> 34:12.477 What do you want? 34:12.577 --> 34:13.978 To fight and... 34:14.078 --> 34:15.279 Shut up! 34:16.281 --> 34:18.074 Nothing. Nothing, really. 34:19.034 --> 34:22.328 - Just to pass through, good Sir Knight. - I'm afraid not. 34:24.289 --> 34:29.168 - Actually, I am a knight of the Round Table. - You're a knight of the Round Table? 34:29.586 --> 34:30.620 I am. 34:30.720 --> 34:32.914 - In that case, I have to kill you. - Shall I? 34:33.014 --> 34:35.208 - I don't think so. - What do I think? 34:35.308 --> 34:37.126 - Kill him. - Let's be nice to him. 34:37.226 --> 34:38.294 - Shut up. - But... 34:38.394 --> 34:39.420 And you! 34:39.520 --> 34:41.506 Get the sword out. I want to cut his head off! 34:41.606 --> 34:44.425 - Cut your own head off. - Yes, do us all a favor. 34:44.525 --> 34:46.552 - What? - Yapping on all the time. 34:46.652 --> 34:49.389 - You're lucky you're not next to him. - What do you mean? 34:49.489 --> 34:51.524 - You snore. - I don't. 34:51.733 --> 34:54.894 - You've got bad breath. - Only because you don't brush my teeth. 34:54.994 --> 34:57.355 Stop bitching, and let's go and have tea! 34:57.455 --> 35:01.567 All right! We'll kill him first, and then have tea and biscuits. 35:01.667 --> 35:02.985 - Yes. - Not biscuits. 35:03.085 --> 35:06.531 All right! Not biscuits. But let's kill him anyway. 35:06.631 --> 35:07.707 Right. 35:10.293 --> 35:12.620 - He's buggered off! - So he has! He's scarpered. 35:12.720 --> 35:14.038 Brave Sir Robin ran away 35:14.138 --> 35:15.130 No! 35:15.230 --> 35:17.041 Bravely ran away, away 35:17.141 --> 35:18.259 I didn't. 35:19.136 --> 35:23.047 When danger reared its ugly head He bravely turned his tail and fled 35:23.147 --> 35:27.017 Yes, Brave Sir Robin turned about And gallantly he chickened out 35:27.394 --> 35:31.230 Bravely taking to his feet He beat a very brave retreat 35:31.440 --> 35:33.307 Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin 35:33.407 --> 35:34.567 I never! 35:36.737 --> 35:40.698 Pie Jesu Domine 35:41.283 --> 35:45.745 Dona eis requiem 37:02.072 --> 37:05.366 Open the door. 37:06.535 --> 37:09.662 In the name of King Arthur, open the door! 37:18.713 --> 37:19.755 Hello! 37:20.298 --> 37:24.051 Welcome, gentle Sir Knight. Welcome to the Castle Anthrax. 37:25.303 --> 37:27.680 - The Castle Anthrax? - Yes. 37:28.723 --> 37:30.758 It's not a very good name, is it? 37:30.858 --> 37:35.396 But we are nice, and we will attend to your every, every need! 37:36.314 --> 37:38.691 You are the keepers of the Holy Grail? 37:38.817 --> 37:41.193 - The what? - The Grail. It is here? 37:42.195 --> 37:45.155 But you are tired, and you must rest awhile. 37:45.657 --> 37:47.074 Midget! Crapper! 37:47.367 --> 37:50.411 - Yes, O Zoot? - Prepare a bed for our guest. 37:50.871 --> 37:53.455 - Thank you, Zoot. - Thank you. 37:53.582 --> 37:55.249 Away, away, varletesses! 37:57.002 --> 38:01.130 The beds here are warm and soft, and very, very big. 38:01.631 --> 38:04.383 - Look, I... - What is your name, handsome knight? 38:04.718 --> 38:06.802 Sir Galahad the Chaste. 38:08.013 --> 38:10.973 Mine is Zoot. Just Zoot. 38:11.892 --> 38:15.811 - But come. - Please, in God's name, show me the Grail. 38:17.063 --> 38:20.016 You have suffered much. You are delirious. 38:20.116 --> 38:22.852 - Look, I have seen it. It is here. - Sir Galahad! 38:22.952 --> 38:26.906 You would not be so ungallant as to refuse our hospitality. 38:30.160 --> 38:35.164 I'm afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet, compared to yours. 38:36.166 --> 38:41.128 We're eight score blondes and brunettes, all between 16 and 19 and a half, 38:41.504 --> 38:44.590 cut off in this castle, with no one to protect us. 38:45.717 --> 38:47.259 It is a lonely life. 38:48.011 --> 38:53.015 Bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear. 38:54.601 --> 38:57.144 We are just not used to handsome knights. 38:57.479 --> 39:00.064 Nay. Come. You may lie here. 39:02.233 --> 39:04.652 - But you are wounded! - No, it's nothing! 39:04.945 --> 39:09.740 You must see the doctors immediately. Please, lie down. 39:12.911 --> 39:16.580 - Well, what seems to be the trouble? - They're doctors? 39:17.832 --> 39:20.042 They have a basic medical training. 39:20.460 --> 39:23.128 Come, come, you must try to rest. 39:23.838 --> 39:26.924 Dr. Piglet! Dr. Winston! Practice your art. 39:34.391 --> 39:37.226 - Try to relax. - Are you sure that's absolutely necessary? 39:37.686 --> 39:39.186 We must examine you. 39:42.148 --> 39:45.526 - There's nothing wrong with that. - Please. We are doctors. 39:47.946 --> 39:49.530 Look, this cannot be. 39:50.073 --> 39:52.358 - I am sworn to chastity! - Back to your bed! 39:52.458 --> 39:55.244 Torment me no longer. I have seen the Grail. 39:55.578 --> 39:58.414 - There's no Grail here. - I have seen it. 39:59.499 --> 40:01.041 - I have seen... - Hello. 40:06.840 --> 40:08.132 Hello. 40:27.861 --> 40:31.613 - Zoot! - I am Zoot's identical twin sister, Dingo. 40:32.991 --> 40:35.534 - Where are you going? - I seek the Grail. 40:35.660 --> 40:37.870 I have seen it here in this castle! 40:38.955 --> 40:43.333 Oh, no. Bad, bad Zoot! 40:43.668 --> 40:47.004 - What is it? - Wicked, bad, naughty Zoot! 40:47.505 --> 40:51.717 She has been setting light to our beacon, which is Grail-shaped. 40:52.135 --> 40:54.462 It's not the first time we've had this problem. 40:54.562 --> 40:56.263 It's not the real Grail? 40:56.556 --> 40:59.475 Wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot. 40:59.601 --> 41:02.936 She is a bad person, and must pay the penalty. 41:04.647 --> 41:06.891 Do you think this scene should have been cut? 41:06.991 --> 41:09.852 We were so worried when the boys were writing it. 41:09.952 --> 41:13.280 But now we're glad. It's better than some previous scenes, I think. 41:13.656 --> 41:15.149 Ours was better visually. 41:15.249 --> 41:17.985 Ours was committed. It wasn't a string of pussy jokes. 41:18.085 --> 41:20.613 - Get on with it. - Yes. Get on with it! 41:20.713 --> 41:23.332 Get on with it! 41:23.917 --> 41:27.669 - I am enjoying this scene. - Get on with it! 41:31.925 --> 41:33.467 Wicked, wicked Zoot! 41:35.720 --> 41:37.471 She must pay the penalty. 41:37.680 --> 41:42.476 In Castle Anthrax, we have one punishment for setting alight the Grail-shaped beacon. 41:43.103 --> 41:46.021 You must tie her down on a bed, and spank her. 41:46.231 --> 41:48.357 A spanking! A spanking! 41:48.525 --> 41:52.436 You must spank her, and after you've spanked her, deal with her as you like. 41:52.536 --> 41:54.814 - And, then, spank me. - And me! 41:54.914 --> 41:56.023 - And me. - And me. 41:56.123 --> 41:58.609 Yes. You must give us all a good spanking! 41:58.709 --> 42:00.244 A spanking! 42:02.455 --> 42:07.376 - And, after the spanking, the oral sex. - The oral sex! 42:08.336 --> 42:10.420 Well, I could stay a bit longer. 42:10.547 --> 42:12.665 - Sir Galahad! - Hello. 42:12.765 --> 42:15.167 - Quick! You are in great peril. - Why? 42:15.267 --> 42:17.586 - No, he isn't! - Silence, foul temptress! 42:17.686 --> 42:19.964 - She's got a point. - We'll cover your escape! 42:20.064 --> 42:22.800 - Look, I'm fine! - Wait, Sir Galahad! 42:22.900 --> 42:27.146 - I can tackle this lot single-handed! - Yes, let him tackle us single-handed! 42:28.189 --> 42:29.640 No, Sir Galahad. Come! 42:29.740 --> 42:32.059 Honestly, I can handle this lot easily! 42:32.159 --> 42:34.770 - Yes, let him handle us easily. - Go! Quick! 42:34.870 --> 42:38.323 Wait! Please! I can defeat them! There's only 150 of them! 42:38.658 --> 42:41.451 He'll beat us easily. We haven't a chance. 42:45.582 --> 42:46.832 Oh, shit! 42:47.250 --> 42:49.960 - You were in great peril. - I don't think I was. 42:50.086 --> 42:51.537 You were in terrible peril. 42:51.637 --> 42:54.832 - Let me go back, and face the peril. - No, it's too perilous. 42:54.932 --> 42:57.209 It's my duty to sample as much peril as I can. 42:57.309 --> 42:59.044 We've got to find the Holy Grail. 42:59.144 --> 43:01.881 - Let me have just a bit of peril? - No. It's unhealthy. 43:01.981 --> 43:04.016 - I bet you're gay. - No, I'm not. 43:05.602 --> 43:09.313 Sir Lancelot had saved Sir Galahad from almost certain temptation. 43:09.606 --> 43:12.149 But, they were still no nearer the Grail. 43:12.442 --> 43:16.103 King Arthur and Sir Bedevere, not more than a swallow's flight away, 43:16.203 --> 43:18.113 had discovered something. 43:19.157 --> 43:21.692 That's an unladen swallow's flight, obviously. 43:21.792 --> 43:24.236 They were more than two laden swallow's flights away. 43:24.336 --> 43:26.572 Four, with a coconut on a line between them. 43:26.672 --> 43:28.282 If the birds were... 43:28.382 --> 43:30.284 Get on with it! 43:30.384 --> 43:31.376 Oh, anyway, 43:31.476 --> 43:34.955 on to Scene 24, which is a smashing scene, with some lovely acting, 43:35.055 --> 43:37.208 in which Arthur discovers a vital clue. 43:37.308 --> 43:40.219 There aren't any swallows, but I think you can hear a... 43:42.138 --> 43:45.974 And this enchanter of whom you speak, he has seen the Grail? 43:51.189 --> 43:52.689 Where does he live? 43:52.899 --> 43:54.483 Old man, where does he live? 43:55.818 --> 44:00.697 He knows of a cave. A cave which no man has entered. 44:01.157 --> 44:04.701 - And the Grail. The Grail is there? - There is much danger. 44:05.328 --> 44:09.414 For beyond the cave lies the Gorge of Eternal Peril, 44:09.958 --> 44:12.376 which no man has ever crossed. 44:12.835 --> 44:15.254 But the Grail. Where is the Grail? 44:15.922 --> 44:19.049 Seek you the Bridge of Death. 44:20.635 --> 44:23.345 The Bridge of Death? Which leads to the Grail? 45:08.850 --> 45:13.637 - Who are you? - We are the knights who say "Ni"! 45:13.737 --> 45:16.265 - No! Not the knights who say "Ni"? - The same! 45:16.365 --> 45:20.110 - Who are they? - We are the keepers of the sacred words. 45:20.653 --> 45:23.989 "Ni," "Peng," and "Neee Wom"! 45:24.824 --> 45:27.318 Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale. 45:27.418 --> 45:31.780 The knights who say "Ni" demand a sacrifice. 45:31.880 --> 45:34.408 Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers 45:34.508 --> 45:37.202 who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods. 45:37.302 --> 45:38.462 Ni! Ni! 45:44.427 --> 45:48.972 We shall say "Ni" again to you, if you do not appease us. 45:49.599 --> 45:51.933 - What is it you want? - We want 45:53.895 --> 45:55.645 a shrubbery. 45:56.522 --> 45:57.556 A what? 45:57.656 --> 46:01.769 - Ni! Ni! - Please! No more! 46:01.869 --> 46:05.606 - We will find you a shrubbery. - You must return with a shrubbery, 46:05.706 --> 46:09.076 or else you will never pass through this wood 46:09.577 --> 46:10.994 alive. 46:11.287 --> 46:13.697 Knights of Ni, you are just and fair. 46:13.797 --> 46:16.658 - We will return with a shrubbery. - One that looks nice. 46:16.758 --> 46:18.702 - Of course. - And not too expensive. 46:18.802 --> 46:22.089 - Yes. - Now go! 47:05.925 --> 47:08.218 Stop that! Stop that! 47:08.386 --> 47:11.221 Go on, clear off! Go away. 47:14.392 --> 47:15.851 And you, clear off! 47:21.315 --> 47:22.357 Bloody weather. 47:22.942 --> 47:24.860 The tale of Sir Lancelot. 47:31.617 --> 47:34.536 One day, lad, all this will be yours. 47:34.662 --> 47:37.156 - What, the curtains? - No, not the curtains. 47:37.256 --> 47:41.702 All that you can see, stretched out over the hills and valleys. 47:41.802 --> 47:43.620 That'll be your kingdom, lad. 47:43.720 --> 47:45.464 - But, Mother. - Father, lad. 47:45.631 --> 47:49.259 - But, Father, I don't want any of that. - Listen, lad. 47:49.385 --> 47:54.264 I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, it was a swamp. 47:54.765 --> 47:57.801 Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on the swamp. 47:57.901 --> 48:01.021 But I built it all the same to show them. 48:01.522 --> 48:03.307 It sank into the swamp. 48:03.407 --> 48:06.226 So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. 48:06.326 --> 48:10.147 So, I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank in the swamp. 48:10.247 --> 48:12.240 But the fourth one stayed up. 48:13.075 --> 48:15.152 And that's what you'll get, lad. 48:15.252 --> 48:19.998 - The strongest castle in these isles. - But I don't want any of that. 48:20.583 --> 48:22.375 - I'd rather... - Rather what? 48:22.585 --> 48:24.586 I'd rather just 48:25.713 --> 48:28.582 - sing. - Stop that. 48:28.682 --> 48:31.426 You're not going into a song while I'm here! 48:31.552 --> 48:33.837 In 20 minutes, you're marrying a girl 48:33.937 --> 48:37.933 whose father owns the biggest tracts of open land in Britain. 48:38.100 --> 48:40.844 - But I don't want land. - Listen, Alice. 48:40.944 --> 48:42.513 - Herbert. - Herbert. 48:42.613 --> 48:46.024 We live on a bloody swamp, we need all the land we can get. 48:46.609 --> 48:49.444 - But I don't like her. - Don't like her? 48:50.238 --> 48:51.688 What's wrong with her? 48:51.788 --> 48:56.076 She's beautiful, she's rich. She's got huge 48:56.786 --> 48:58.203 tracts of land. 48:59.288 --> 49:04.167 I know, but I want the girl that I marry to have 49:05.127 --> 49:08.588 a certain special something. 49:09.382 --> 49:11.633 Cut that out! 49:12.969 --> 49:17.472 You're marrying Princess Lucky, so you'd better get used to the idea! 49:18.808 --> 49:19.891 Guards! 49:20.309 --> 49:23.554 Make sure the Prince doesn't leave the room until I get him. 49:23.654 --> 49:26.640 Not to leave the room, even if you come and get him. 49:26.740 --> 49:28.775 No. Until I come and get him. 49:29.110 --> 49:32.320 Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room. 49:32.446 --> 49:37.284 No, you stay in the room and make sure he doesn't leave. 49:37.577 --> 49:40.070 - And you'll come and get him. - Right. 49:40.170 --> 49:43.832 We don't need to do anything, apart from stop him entering the room. 49:44.125 --> 49:47.252 - No. Leaving the room. - Leaving the room, yes. 49:47.503 --> 49:49.580 - All right? - Right. If... 49:49.680 --> 49:52.048 - lf we're... - Yes? 49:53.718 --> 49:55.919 Look, it's quite simple. 49:56.019 --> 50:00.223 You stay here and make sure he doesn't leave the room. 50:01.392 --> 50:03.518 - All right? - I remember. 50:03.686 --> 50:06.021 Can he leave the room with us? 50:06.480 --> 50:10.267 No, you just keep him in here, and make sure... 50:10.367 --> 50:12.644 Yes! We'll keep him in here, obviously. 50:12.744 --> 50:15.905 - But if he had to leave... - No. Keep him in here! 50:16.032 --> 50:18.742 - Until you, or anyone... - Not anyone, just me. 50:18.868 --> 50:21.202 - Just you... - Get back. 50:21.537 --> 50:22.571 - Right? - Right. 50:22.671 --> 50:24.615 We'll stay here until you get back. 50:24.715 --> 50:27.542 - And make sure he doesn't leave. - What? 50:28.878 --> 50:31.921 - Make sure he doesn't leave. - The Prince? 50:32.048 --> 50:35.334 - Yes, make sure he doesn't leave. - Yes, of course! 50:35.434 --> 50:37.085 I thought you meant him! 50:37.185 --> 50:40.847 It seemed a bit daft me having to guard him when he's a guard. 50:41.265 --> 50:44.059 - Is that clear? - Quite clear. No problems. 50:44.226 --> 50:45.268 Right. 50:47.521 --> 50:50.106 - Where are you going? - We're coming with you. 50:50.232 --> 50:54.361 No, I want you to stay here, and make sure he doesn't leave. 50:54.862 --> 50:56.071 I see, right. 50:56.906 --> 51:00.575 - But, Father... - Shut it, and get that suit on. 51:08.292 --> 51:10.251 And no singing! 51:10.628 --> 51:12.587 Go and get a glass of water. 52:01.303 --> 52:03.880 - Well taken, Concorde! - Thank you, sir, most kind. 52:03.980 --> 52:05.473 And again! 52:05.808 --> 52:08.885 Over we go! Good, steady! 52:08.985 --> 52:11.187 Now, the big one! 52:12.022 --> 52:14.065 Come on, Concorde! 52:15.192 --> 52:17.318 Message for you, sir. 52:19.864 --> 52:21.740 Concorde, speak to me! 52:31.417 --> 52:33.076 "To whoever finds this note. 52:33.176 --> 52:37.255 "I have been imprisoned by my father, 52:37.673 --> 52:40.250 "who wishes me to marry against my will. 52:40.350 --> 52:42.886 "Please, please come and rescue me. 52:43.387 --> 52:46.840 "I am in the tall tower of Swamp Castle." 52:46.940 --> 52:50.226 At last! A call! A cry of distress! 52:50.352 --> 52:53.513 This could be the sign that leads us to the Holy Grail! 52:53.613 --> 52:58.193 Brave Concorde, you shall not have died in vain! 52:58.527 --> 53:00.236 I'm not quite dead, sir. 53:02.364 --> 53:04.941 You shall not have been mortally wounded in vain! 53:05.041 --> 53:07.368 I think I could pull through, sir. 53:08.370 --> 53:10.864 - I see. - I think I'm all right to come with you. 53:10.964 --> 53:12.699 No, sweet Concorde! Stay here. 53:12.799 --> 53:15.952 I will send help as soon as I have accomplished a daring and 53:16.052 --> 53:18.797 heroic rescue in my own particular... 53:22.092 --> 53:23.885 - Idiom, sir? - Idiom! 53:24.053 --> 53:27.430 - No, I feel fine, actually, sir. - Farewell, sweet Concorde! 53:28.432 --> 53:31.601 I'll just stay here, shall I, sir? 53:33.646 --> 53:34.771 Yeah. 54:13.936 --> 54:15.270 - Morning. - Morning. 55:00.149 --> 55:01.149 Hey! 55:52.534 --> 55:54.869 You're not allowed to enter the room... 55:56.914 --> 55:59.908 Fair one, behold your humble servant, Sir Lancelot of Camelot. 56:00.008 --> 56:03.920 - I have come to take... I'm terribly sorry. - You got my note! 56:04.254 --> 56:08.132 - I got a note. - You've come to rescue me? 56:08.550 --> 56:11.344 - Well, no, you see... - I knew someone would. 56:11.637 --> 56:16.265 I knew that somewhere out there, there must be someone... 56:17.059 --> 56:19.268 Stop that! Stop it! 56:20.813 --> 56:21.809 Who are you? 56:21.909 --> 56:23.515 - I'm your son. - No, not you. 56:23.615 --> 56:26.810 - I'm Sir Lancelot, sir. - He's come to rescue me, Father. 56:26.910 --> 56:31.114 - Let's not jump to conclusions. - Did you kill all those guards? 56:31.240 --> 56:33.024 Yes. Sorry. 56:33.124 --> 56:35.568 - They cost 50 pounds each. - I'm awfully sorry. 56:35.668 --> 56:39.747 Don't be afraid of him, Sir Lancelot. I've got a rope ready. 56:40.499 --> 56:42.875 You killed eight wedding guests and all! 56:43.043 --> 56:45.370 Well, you see, I thought your son was a lady. 56:45.470 --> 56:46.788 I can understand that. 56:46.888 --> 56:49.207 - Hurry, Sir Lancelot! Hurry! - Shut up! 56:49.307 --> 56:52.711 - You only killed the bride's father! - I didn't mean to. 56:52.811 --> 56:55.547 Didn't mean to? You put your sword through his head! 56:55.647 --> 56:58.633 - Oh dear, is he all right? - You kicked the bride in the chest! 56:58.733 --> 57:01.219 - It's going to cost me a fortune! - I can explain. 57:01.319 --> 57:05.098 I was in the forest, riding north from Camelot, when I got this note. 57:05.198 --> 57:07.817 - Are you from Camelot? - Hurry, Sir Lancelot! 57:07.943 --> 57:10.020 I'm a knight of King Arthur, sir. 57:10.120 --> 57:13.114 Very nice castle, Camelot. Very good pig country. 57:13.866 --> 57:16.901 - Is it? - I am ready! 57:17.001 --> 57:20.747 - Would you like to come have a drink? - That's awfully nice of you. 57:21.081 --> 57:24.242 - I am ready! - I mean, to be so understanding. 57:24.342 --> 57:28.254 You see, when I'm in this idiom, I sometimes get a bit carried away. 57:34.928 --> 57:38.381 Now, this is the main hall. We'll have all this knocked through... 57:38.481 --> 57:41.976 - There he is! - Bloody hell. 57:51.570 --> 57:55.315 - Hold it, please! - See what I mean? I get carried away. 57:55.415 --> 57:58.318 I'm really most awfully sorry. Sorry, everyone. 57:58.418 --> 57:59.827 He's killed the best man! 58:01.371 --> 58:05.867 Hold it, please, hold it. This is Sir Lancelot 58:05.967 --> 58:10.963 from the Court of Camelot, a brave and influential knight. 58:11.715 --> 58:14.584 - And my special guest here today. - Hello. 58:14.684 --> 58:16.302 He killed my auntie! 58:17.054 --> 58:21.682 No, please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion! 58:21.809 --> 58:25.728 Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who. 58:26.522 --> 58:31.025 We are here today to witness the union of two young people 58:31.151 --> 58:33.486 in the joyful bond of holy wedlock. 58:35.072 --> 58:38.866 Unfortunately, one of them, my son Herbert, 58:39.660 --> 58:41.702 has just fallen to his death. 58:42.538 --> 58:46.040 But I don't want to think I've lost a son, so much as 58:46.542 --> 58:48.209 gained a daughter. 58:48.919 --> 58:52.163 For, since the tragic death of her father... 58:52.263 --> 58:54.382 He's not quite dead! 58:55.717 --> 58:58.761 Since the near fatal wounding of her father... 58:58.887 --> 59:00.638 He's getting better! 59:02.558 --> 59:05.893 For, since her own father 59:06.019 --> 59:09.355 who, when he seemed about to recover, 59:09.773 --> 59:13.234 suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him. 59:14.194 --> 59:15.361 He's died! 59:15.863 --> 59:19.482 I want his only daughter to look upon me 59:19.582 --> 59:24.078 as her own dad, in a very real, and legally binding sense. 59:25.914 --> 59:30.585 And I feel sure that the merger, the union between the Princess 59:31.295 --> 59:35.047 and the brave but dangerous Sir Lancelot of Camelot... 59:35.465 --> 59:38.593 - What? - Look, the dead Prince! 59:41.263 --> 59:44.765 - He's not quite dead! - I feel much better. 59:44.892 --> 59:47.768 You fell out of the tall tower, you creep! 59:48.061 --> 59:51.814 - No, I was saved at the last minute. - How? 59:52.107 --> 59:53.774 I'll tell you. 59:55.110 --> 59:57.612 Not like that! Not like that. 59:57.738 --> 01:00:01.449 He's going to tell He's going to tell 01:00:05.829 --> 01:00:07.739 Quickly, sir, come this way! 01:00:07.839 --> 01:00:11.751 No, it's not right for my idiom. I must escape more... 01:00:13.629 --> 01:00:16.797 - Dramatically, sir? - Dramatically. 01:00:28.977 --> 01:00:31.771 Excuse me, could somebody give me a push, please? 01:00:47.537 --> 01:00:49.205 Old crone! 01:00:50.832 --> 01:00:54.335 Is there anywhere in this town where we could buy a shrubbery? 01:00:55.170 --> 01:00:58.673 - Who sent you? - The knights who say "Ni"! 01:00:58.840 --> 01:01:01.626 No! We have no shrubberies here. 01:01:01.726 --> 01:01:05.846 If you do not tell us where we can buy a shrubbery, my friend and I 01:01:06.223 --> 01:01:07.515 will say... 01:01:08.684 --> 01:01:11.519 We will say "Ni." 01:01:12.145 --> 01:01:13.429 Do your worst! 01:01:13.529 --> 01:01:17.692 Very well. If you will not assist us voluntarily... 01:01:21.363 --> 01:01:22.530 - Ni! - No! 01:01:23.323 --> 01:01:25.574 Never. No shrubberies. 01:01:25.909 --> 01:01:27.660 - Ni! - Noo! 01:01:27.911 --> 01:01:30.204 No, it's not that, it's "Ni." 01:01:31.039 --> 01:01:33.416 No, you're not doing it properly. 01:01:33.542 --> 01:01:35.042 - Ni. - You've got it. 01:01:35.168 --> 01:01:38.121 - Ni! - Ni! 01:01:38.221 --> 01:01:41.340 Are you saying "Ni" to that old woman? 01:01:42.551 --> 01:01:43.626 Yes. 01:01:43.726 --> 01:01:48.639 What sad times are these when passing ruffians can say "Ni" at will to old ladies. 01:01:49.224 --> 01:01:52.393 There is a pestilence upon this land. Nothing is sacred. 01:01:52.728 --> 01:01:56.514 Even those who arrange shrubberies are under considerable economic stress 01:01:56.614 --> 01:01:58.607 at this period in history. 01:01:58.734 --> 01:02:01.402 - Did you say "shrubberies"? - Yes. 01:02:01.528 --> 01:02:04.522 Shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. 01:02:04.622 --> 01:02:09.243 My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies. 01:02:10.037 --> 01:02:12.246 - Ni! - No! 01:02:13.248 --> 01:02:16.159 Knights of Ni, we have brought you your shrubbery. 01:02:16.259 --> 01:02:18.586 - May we go? - It is a good shrubbery. 01:02:18.795 --> 01:02:23.132 I like the laurels particularly. But there is one small problem. 01:02:23.717 --> 01:02:24.834 What is that? 01:02:24.934 --> 01:02:29.263 We are now no longer the knights who say "Ni." 01:02:30.223 --> 01:02:32.175 We are now the knights who say, 01:02:32.275 --> 01:02:35.770 "Ekke Ekke Ekke Ptang Zoo Boing"! 01:02:36.688 --> 01:02:38.806 Therefore, we must give you a test. 01:02:38.906 --> 01:02:42.485 What is this test, knights who until recently said "Ni"? 01:02:43.236 --> 01:02:45.404 Firstly, you must find 01:02:46.114 --> 01:02:47.823 another shrubbery! 01:02:48.992 --> 01:02:51.452 Not another shrubbery! 01:02:51.578 --> 01:02:55.289 Then you must bring it here beside this shrubbery. 01:02:55.499 --> 01:02:59.035 Higher, so you get the two-level effect with a path going down the middle. 01:02:59.135 --> 01:03:01.170 A path! A path! 01:03:01.296 --> 01:03:04.423 Then, when you have found the shrubberies, 01:03:04.800 --> 01:03:08.094 you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest 01:03:08.804 --> 01:03:11.972 with a herring! 01:03:13.266 --> 01:03:15.935 - We shall do no such thing. - Please. 01:03:16.311 --> 01:03:19.480 Cut down a tree with a herring? It can't be done. 01:03:21.191 --> 01:03:23.059 - Don't say that word. - What word? 01:03:23.159 --> 01:03:25.152 I cannot tell. Suffice to say, 01:03:25.278 --> 01:03:27.939 it's one of the words the knights of Ni cannot hear. 01:03:28.039 --> 01:03:30.942 How can we not say the word if you don't tell us what it is? 01:03:31.042 --> 01:03:33.160 - He did it again. - What? "Is"? 01:03:33.578 --> 01:03:37.782 No, not "is"! You wouldn't get very far in life not saying "is." 01:03:37.882 --> 01:03:39.375 My liege, it's Robin. 01:03:39.501 --> 01:03:43.879 He's jacking it in and packing it up And sneaking away and buggering off 01:03:44.005 --> 01:03:48.584 And chickening out and pissing a pot Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge 01:03:48.684 --> 01:03:49.919 - Robin. - My liege. 01:03:50.019 --> 01:03:51.587 - It's good to see you. - Now he's said the word! 01:03:51.687 --> 01:03:54.257 You haven't given up your quest for the Holy Grail? 01:03:54.357 --> 01:03:55.675 He is sneaking away and... 01:03:55.775 --> 01:03:56.851 Shut up! 01:03:57.352 --> 01:03:59.846 - No, far from it. - You said the word again. 01:03:59.946 --> 01:04:04.525 I was looking for it here in this forest. 01:04:04.693 --> 01:04:09.029 - No, it is far from this place. - Stop saying the word! 01:04:09.156 --> 01:04:11.615 - The word we cannot hear! - Stop it! 01:04:11.783 --> 01:04:13.776 - He said "it" again! - That's it! 01:04:13.876 --> 01:04:16.871 I've said "it." I've said "it." I've said "it" again! 01:04:16.997 --> 01:04:19.206 That's three "its"! 01:04:25.380 --> 01:04:29.876 And so Arthur and Bedevere and Sir Robin set out on their search to find 01:04:29.976 --> 01:04:33.888 the enchanter of whom the old man had spoken in Scene 24. 01:04:35.390 --> 01:04:38.225 Beyond the forest they met Lancelot and Galahad, 01:04:38.351 --> 01:04:40.728 and there was much rejoicing. 01:04:52.240 --> 01:04:54.484 In the frozen land of Nador, 01:04:54.584 --> 01:04:57.369 they were forced to eat Robin's minstrels. 01:04:58.038 --> 01:05:00.289 And there was much rejoicing. 01:05:01.917 --> 01:05:03.584 A year passed. 01:05:07.422 --> 01:05:09.882 Winter changed into spring. 01:05:10.425 --> 01:05:12.551 Spring changed into summer. 01:05:13.094 --> 01:05:15.505 Summer changed back into winter, 01:05:15.605 --> 01:05:20.142 and winter gave spring and summer a miss and went straight on into autumn. 01:05:21.436 --> 01:05:22.686 Until one day. 01:05:44.918 --> 01:05:46.252 Knights, 01:05:47.462 --> 01:05:48.754 forward! 01:06:25.792 --> 01:06:28.369 What manner of man are you that can summon up fire 01:06:28.469 --> 01:06:32.881 - without flint or tinder? - I am an enchanter. 01:06:35.927 --> 01:06:39.763 - By what name are you known? - There are some who call me... 01:06:41.850 --> 01:06:44.518 - Tim. - Greetings, Tim the enchanter! 01:06:44.644 --> 01:06:47.021 Greetings, King Arthur. 01:06:47.856 --> 01:06:49.523 - You know my name? - I do. 01:06:57.532 --> 01:07:00.284 You seek the Holy Grail. 01:07:00.869 --> 01:07:03.946 That is our quest. You know much that is hidden, Tim. 01:07:04.046 --> 01:07:05.289 Quite. 01:07:13.548 --> 01:07:15.966 Yes, we are looking for the Holy Grail. 01:07:16.217 --> 01:07:20.137 - Our quest is to find the Holy Grail. - Yes, it is. 01:07:23.350 --> 01:07:26.560 - And so we're looking for it. - Yes, we are. 01:07:26.686 --> 01:07:29.521 - We have been for some time. - Ages. 01:07:32.150 --> 01:07:36.570 So, anything you could do to help would be 01:07:39.032 --> 01:07:40.157 very 01:07:41.409 --> 01:07:44.244 - helpful. - Look, can you tell us where... 01:07:48.083 --> 01:07:51.085 Fine, I don't want to waste any more of your time, 01:07:51.211 --> 01:07:55.089 but I don't suppose you could tell us where we might find a... 01:07:58.218 --> 01:07:59.843 A what? 01:08:02.013 --> 01:08:03.589 A grail? 01:08:03.689 --> 01:08:05.849 Yes, I think so. 01:08:06.393 --> 01:08:07.434 Yes. 01:08:08.603 --> 01:08:09.770 Yes! 01:08:11.940 --> 01:08:14.775 - Thank you. - Splendid! 01:08:18.613 --> 01:08:21.190 Look, you're a busy man... 01:08:21.290 --> 01:08:25.953 Yes, I can help you find the Holy Grail. 01:08:26.413 --> 01:08:31.200 To the north, there lies a cave. The Cave of Caerbannog. 01:08:31.300 --> 01:08:35.629 Wherein, carved in mystic runes, upon the very living rock, 01:08:36.089 --> 01:08:39.425 the last words of Olfin Bedwere of Rheged 01:08:41.553 --> 01:08:46.473 make plain the last resting place of the most Holy Grail. 01:08:47.392 --> 01:08:50.477 - Where could we find this cave, Tim? - Follow! 01:08:51.980 --> 01:08:56.066 But follow only if ye be men of valor. 01:08:56.484 --> 01:08:59.945 For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature 01:09:00.447 --> 01:09:03.657 so foul, so cruel, 01:09:03.783 --> 01:09:06.994 that no man yet has fought with it and lived. 01:09:08.580 --> 01:09:13.584 Bones of full 50 men lie strewn about its lair. 01:09:14.127 --> 01:09:18.505 So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage 01:09:19.007 --> 01:09:21.842 or your strength, come no further, 01:09:22.177 --> 01:09:27.139 for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth. 01:09:29.601 --> 01:09:31.477 What an eccentric performance! 01:09:45.033 --> 01:09:46.442 They're nervous, sire. 01:09:46.542 --> 01:09:49.111 Then we'd best leave them here and carry on, on foot. 01:09:49.211 --> 01:09:50.704 Dismount! 01:10:03.843 --> 01:10:07.846 Behold the Cave of Caerbannog! 01:10:10.266 --> 01:10:13.393 - Right, keep me covered. - What with? 01:10:14.145 --> 01:10:16.522 - Just keep me covered. - Too late. 01:10:17.857 --> 01:10:19.024 There he is! 01:10:22.111 --> 01:10:24.279 - Where? - There. 01:10:25.323 --> 01:10:28.367 - What, behind the rabbit? - It is the rabbit. 01:10:30.495 --> 01:10:32.947 - You silly sod! - What? 01:10:33.047 --> 01:10:34.490 You got us all worked up. 01:10:34.590 --> 01:10:36.283 That's no ordinary rabbit. 01:10:36.383 --> 01:10:41.338 That's the most foul, cruel and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on. 01:10:41.506 --> 01:10:45.133 You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared! 01:10:45.260 --> 01:10:48.754 Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide. 01:10:48.854 --> 01:10:50.840 - It's a killer! - Get stuffed. 01:10:50.940 --> 01:10:53.259 - He'll do you up a treat, mate! - Yeah? 01:10:53.359 --> 01:10:55.886 - You manky Scots git! - I'm warning you. 01:10:55.986 --> 01:10:59.648 - What's he do? Nibble your bum? - He's got huge, sharp... 01:11:00.692 --> 01:11:02.442 It can leap about... 01:11:02.902 --> 01:11:06.321 - Look at the bones! - Go on, Bors, chop its head off. 01:11:06.447 --> 01:11:10.158 Right. Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew coming right up. 01:11:12.537 --> 01:11:13.996 Look! 01:11:16.875 --> 01:11:20.035 - Jesus Christ! - I warned you! 01:11:20.135 --> 01:11:22.204 - I've done it again. - I warned you. 01:11:22.304 --> 01:11:25.632 But did you listen to me? No, you knew it all, didn't you? 01:11:25.800 --> 01:11:30.337 It's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it? Well, it's always the same. 01:11:30.437 --> 01:11:33.056 - I always... - Shut up! 01:11:34.517 --> 01:11:36.351 Charge! 01:11:53.036 --> 01:11:55.495 Run away! 01:12:04.881 --> 01:12:06.916 - How many did we lose? - Gawain. 01:12:07.016 --> 01:12:09.043 - Ector. - And Bors. That's five. 01:12:09.143 --> 01:12:11.094 - Three. - Three. 01:12:11.471 --> 01:12:15.132 We better not risk another frontal assault, that rabbit's dynamite. 01:12:15.232 --> 01:12:17.843 Would it help to confuse it if we run away more? 01:12:17.943 --> 01:12:21.305 - Shut up and change your armor. - Let us taunt it. 01:12:21.405 --> 01:12:24.183 It may become so cross that it will make a mistake. 01:12:24.283 --> 01:12:25.400 Like what? 01:12:26.694 --> 01:12:27.736 Well... 01:12:30.907 --> 01:12:32.858 - Have we got bows? - No. 01:12:32.958 --> 01:12:35.319 - We have the Holy Hand Grenade. - Yes, of course! 01:12:35.419 --> 01:12:37.154 The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. 01:12:37.254 --> 01:12:40.074 It's one of the sacred relics Brother Maynard carries. 01:12:40.174 --> 01:12:43.251 Brother Maynard! Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade. 01:13:14.742 --> 01:13:16.034 How does it... 01:13:16.744 --> 01:13:17.903 How does it work? 01:13:18.003 --> 01:13:20.823 - I know not, my liege. - Consult the Book of Armaments. 01:13:20.923 --> 01:13:24.710 Armaments 2: 9-21. 01:13:28.047 --> 01:13:31.967 "And St. Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 01:13:32.677 --> 01:13:36.797 "'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayest 01:13:36.897 --> 01:13:40.559 "'blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' 01:13:41.227 --> 01:13:44.304 "And the Lord did grin and the people did feast upon 01:13:44.404 --> 01:13:49.359 "the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans 01:13:49.902 --> 01:13:52.312 "and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and..." 01:13:52.412 --> 01:13:53.905 Skip a bit, Brother. 01:13:55.700 --> 01:14:00.454 "The Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, 01:14:01.289 --> 01:14:05.709 "'then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. 01:14:06.627 --> 01:14:09.288 "'Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, 01:14:09.388 --> 01:14:12.382 "'and the number of the counting shalt be three. 01:14:12.967 --> 01:14:16.595 "'Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, 01:14:17.138 --> 01:14:19.806 "'excepting that thou then proceed to three. 01:14:21.142 --> 01:14:23.477 "'Five is right out. 01:14:24.645 --> 01:14:28.148 "'Once the number three, being the third number be reached, 01:14:28.566 --> 01:14:31.818 "'then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch 01:14:31.944 --> 01:14:35.655 "'towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, 01:14:36.324 --> 01:14:37.991 "'shall snuff it."' 01:14:38.659 --> 01:14:41.070 Amen. 01:14:41.170 --> 01:14:42.245 Right. 01:14:42.914 --> 01:14:45.157 One, two, five! 01:14:45.257 --> 01:14:47.125 - Three, sir! - Three! 01:15:33.089 --> 01:15:34.589 There! Look! 01:15:35.508 --> 01:15:37.876 - What does it say? - What language is that? 01:15:37.976 --> 01:15:40.220 Brother Maynard, you're our scholar. 01:15:40.388 --> 01:15:41.930 It is Aramaic! 01:15:42.265 --> 01:15:45.142 Of course. Joseph of Arimathea! 01:15:45.476 --> 01:15:47.561 - Of course. - What does it say? 01:15:47.687 --> 01:15:51.014 It reads, "Here may be found 01:15:51.114 --> 01:15:54.734 "the last words of Joseph of Arimathea. 01:15:55.444 --> 01:15:58.697 "'He who is valiant and pure of spirit 01:15:59.490 --> 01:16:01.700 "'may find the Holy Grail 01:16:02.034 --> 01:16:06.329 "'in the Castle of Aaargh."' 01:16:08.249 --> 01:16:09.416 What? 01:16:10.168 --> 01:16:14.004 "The Castle of Aaargh." 01:16:14.672 --> 01:16:15.922 What is that? 01:16:16.465 --> 01:16:18.667 He must have died while carving it. 01:16:18.767 --> 01:16:21.595 - Come on! - That's what it says. 01:16:21.721 --> 01:16:25.307 Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to carve "Aaargh." 01:16:25.516 --> 01:16:28.935 - He'd just say it. - That's what's carved in the rock. 01:16:29.312 --> 01:16:31.305 - Perhaps he was dictating it. - Shut up! 01:16:31.405 --> 01:16:33.682 - Does it say anything else? - No! 01:16:33.782 --> 01:16:37.027 Just "Aaargh." 01:16:38.988 --> 01:16:41.398 Aaargh. 01:16:41.498 --> 01:16:45.235 Do you suppose he meant the Camargue? 01:16:45.335 --> 01:16:47.321 - Where's that? - In France, I think. 01:16:47.421 --> 01:16:52.209 - Isn't there a St. Aaargh's in Cornwall? - No, that's St. Ives. 01:16:52.501 --> 01:16:54.669 St. Ives. 01:16:56.839 --> 01:16:59.374 No, "Aaargh." At the back of the throat. 01:16:59.474 --> 01:17:02.594 No, "Ooh," in surprise and alarm! 01:17:02.845 --> 01:17:05.597 - You mean a sort of an "Ah!" - Yes, that's right. 01:17:07.308 --> 01:17:08.308 My God! 01:17:11.145 --> 01:17:13.813 It's the legendary Black Beast of... 01:17:16.108 --> 01:17:19.069 That's it! Run away! 01:17:28.829 --> 01:17:30.330 Keep running. 01:17:35.127 --> 01:17:36.419 We've lost him. 01:17:38.214 --> 01:17:40.966 As the horrendous Black Beast lunged forward, 01:17:41.676 --> 01:17:44.461 escape for Arthur and his knights seemed hopeless. 01:17:44.561 --> 01:17:48.556 When, suddenly, the animator suffered a fatal heart attack. 01:17:48.891 --> 01:17:51.476 The cartoon peril was no more. 01:17:52.270 --> 01:17:55.146 The quest for the Holy Grail could continue. 01:18:07.285 --> 01:18:08.910 There it is! 01:18:09.161 --> 01:18:13.373 - The Bridge of Death. - Great. 01:18:13.541 --> 01:18:16.493 Look! There's the old man from Scene 24. 01:18:16.593 --> 01:18:20.338 - What's he doing here? - He is the keeper of the Bridge of Death. 01:18:20.840 --> 01:18:23.166 He asks each traveler five questions. 01:18:23.266 --> 01:18:25.210 - Three questions. - Three questions. 01:18:25.310 --> 01:18:28.880 - He who answers the five questions... - Three questions. 01:18:28.980 --> 01:18:33.427 ...three questions, may cross in safety. - What if you get a question wrong? 01:18:33.527 --> 01:18:37.022 Then you are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril. 01:18:37.273 --> 01:18:40.442 - Oh, wacko. - Who's going to answer the questions? 01:18:40.568 --> 01:18:43.403 Brave Sir Robin, you go. 01:18:44.155 --> 01:18:46.156 I've got a great idea. 01:18:46.782 --> 01:18:48.317 Why doesn't Lancelot go? 01:18:48.417 --> 01:18:51.153 Yes, let me go, my liege. I will take him single-handed. 01:18:51.253 --> 01:18:54.914 - I shall make a feint to the northeast... - Hang on! 01:18:55.124 --> 01:18:57.743 - Just answer the five questions... - Three questions. 01:18:57.843 --> 01:19:01.838 ...three questions, as best you can. And we shall watch and pray. 01:19:02.048 --> 01:19:03.882 I understand, my liege. 01:19:04.133 --> 01:19:07.761 Good luck, brave Sir Lancelot. God be with you. 01:19:12.224 --> 01:19:13.266 Stop! 01:19:14.852 --> 01:19:19.481 Who would cross the Bridge of Death, must answer me these questions three. 01:19:19.648 --> 01:19:21.858 Ere the other side he see. 01:19:22.068 --> 01:19:25.070 Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid. 01:19:25.321 --> 01:19:29.240 - What is your name? - My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot. 01:19:29.992 --> 01:19:31.743 What is your quest? 01:19:31.994 --> 01:19:34.037 To seek the Holy Grail. 01:19:34.538 --> 01:19:36.664 What is your favorite color? 01:19:37.124 --> 01:19:39.376 - Blue. - Right. Off you go. 01:19:40.836 --> 01:19:42.754 Well, thank you very much. 01:19:47.218 --> 01:19:48.426 That's easy. 01:19:51.472 --> 01:19:52.514 Stop. 01:19:53.265 --> 01:19:57.936 Who approacheth the Bridge of Death, must answer me these questions three. 01:19:58.312 --> 01:20:00.522 Ere the other side he see. 01:20:01.357 --> 01:20:04.101 Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid. 01:20:04.201 --> 01:20:07.821 - What is your name? - Sir Robin of Camelot. 01:20:08.280 --> 01:20:11.408 - What is your quest? - To seek the Holy Grail. 01:20:11.742 --> 01:20:13.868 What is the capital of Assyria? 01:20:16.705 --> 01:20:17.997 I don't know that! 01:20:26.757 --> 01:20:27.841 Stop! 01:20:28.759 --> 01:20:32.303 - What is your name? - Sir Galahad of Camelot. 01:20:32.513 --> 01:20:35.932 - What is your quest? - I seek the Grail. 01:20:36.851 --> 01:20:39.936 - What is your favorite color? - Blue. 01:20:40.771 --> 01:20:41.813 No! Yellow! 01:20:49.280 --> 01:20:50.321 Stop! 01:20:50.531 --> 01:20:54.617 - What is your name? - It is Arthur, King of the Britons. 01:20:55.035 --> 01:20:58.705 - What is your quest? - To seek the Holy Grail. 01:20:59.540 --> 01:21:02.876 What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? 01:21:03.669 --> 01:21:06.546 What do you mean? An African or European swallow? 01:21:07.548 --> 01:21:09.048 I don't know that! 01:21:15.347 --> 01:21:17.724 How do you know so much about swallows? 01:21:17.850 --> 01:21:20.518 You have to know these things when you're a king. 01:22:00.392 --> 01:22:19.118 Lancelot! 01:24:08.729 --> 01:24:13.066 The Castle Aaargh. Our quest is at an end. 01:24:31.752 --> 01:24:33.336 God be praised. 01:24:36.924 --> 01:24:38.333 Almighty God, 01:24:38.433 --> 01:24:42.345 we thank thee, that thou hast vouchsafed to us the most holy... 01:24:44.431 --> 01:24:46.557 Jesus Christ! 01:24:47.768 --> 01:24:50.011 Hello, stuffy English knights 01:24:50.111 --> 01:24:53.014 and Monsieur Arthur King, who has the brain of a duck, you know. 01:24:53.114 --> 01:24:56.142 So, we French fellows outwit you a second time. 01:24:56.242 --> 01:24:59.237 How dare you profane this place with your presence? 01:24:59.780 --> 01:25:03.700 I command you, in the name of the knights of Camelot, 01:25:03.951 --> 01:25:06.911 to open the doors of this sacred castle, 01:25:07.121 --> 01:25:10.581 to which God himself has guided us. 01:25:10.791 --> 01:25:15.795 How you English say? One more time, I unclog my nose in your direction, 01:25:16.088 --> 01:25:17.539 sons of a window-dresser! 01:25:17.639 --> 01:25:20.208 So, you think you could out-clever us French folk 01:25:20.308 --> 01:25:23.878 with your silly knees-bent, running about, advancing behavior. 01:25:23.978 --> 01:25:26.764 I wave my private parts at your aunties. 01:25:27.057 --> 01:25:31.636 You cheesy lot of second-hand, electric donkey-bottom biters! 01:25:31.736 --> 01:25:33.813 In the name of the Lord, 01:25:33.939 --> 01:25:37.650 we demand entrance to this sacred castle! 01:25:37.776 --> 01:25:40.562 No chance, English bed-wetting types. 01:25:40.662 --> 01:25:44.899 I burst my pimples at you, and call your door-opening request a silly thing! 01:25:44.999 --> 01:25:48.403 You tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms. 01:25:48.503 --> 01:25:52.165 If you'll not open this door, we shall take this castle by force! 01:25:54.001 --> 01:25:56.502 In the name of God and the glory of our... 01:25:58.172 --> 01:26:00.673 Right! That settles it! 01:26:01.508 --> 01:26:04.586 Depart at this time, and don't be approaching any more, 01:26:04.686 --> 01:26:09.424 or we fire arrows into your heads, and make castanets out of your testicles. 01:26:09.524 --> 01:26:11.092 Walk away, just ignore them. 01:26:11.192 --> 01:26:15.146 And now remain gone, illegitimate-faced bugger-folk! 01:26:15.272 --> 01:26:19.934 And, if you think you got a nasty taunting this time, you ain't heard 01:26:20.034 --> 01:26:23.529 nothing yet, stuffy English knights! 01:26:45.385 --> 01:26:48.513 - We shall attack at once. - Yes, my liege. 01:26:48.680 --> 01:26:50.556 Stand by for attack! 01:27:50.200 --> 01:27:51.617 French persons! 01:27:52.536 --> 01:27:56.289 Today the blood of many a valiant knight shall be avenged. 01:27:56.874 --> 01:28:00.201 In the name of God, we shall not stop our fight 01:28:00.301 --> 01:28:05.089 till each one of you lies dead, and the Holy Grail 01:28:05.215 --> 01:28:08.801 returns to those whom God has chosen. 01:28:10.262 --> 01:28:13.264 Charge! 01:28:38.916 --> 01:28:41.334 Yes, they're the ones, I'm sure. 01:28:47.007 --> 01:28:49.634 - Come on. - Put this man in the van. 01:28:53.513 --> 01:28:56.349 - Put him in the van. - Get a blanket over that one. 01:28:56.642 --> 01:28:59.185 Come on, back! Right back! 01:29:01.438 --> 01:29:03.689 That's an offensive weapon, that is. 01:29:06.985 --> 01:29:09.278 All right, sonny, that's enough. Pack that in.